Thumbs, Pacifiers and Security Items
As you get to know your baby, there will be many parenting decisions you have to make. Many of these decisions seem very difficult when you are faced with them, but can be considered rather directly. Let’s talk about three important issues that you might face as a new parent.
Thumb and Finger Sucking
Most pediatricians and child development experts view thumb or finger sucking as an extension of the strong rooting and sucking reflexes with which a child is born. They consider it a normal part of early development.
You may feel differently.
Concerns about thumb or finger sucking causing the mouth or palate to disfigure and issues about lifelong bad habits are common among first-time parents.
In reality, most finger and thumb suckers give up the habit on their own by 5 or 6 months. Problems, if they arise, occur much later during the late preschool years or after permanent teeth come in. Changes in the palate or tooth spacing and negative comments from friends, siblings, or relatives are the most frequent concerns.
Helping your child to give up thumb or finger sucking is not an easy task. Most children do so on their own when they are ready. Adverse techniques rarely work and should be avoided until you thoroughly understand how and when to use them effectively.
For some children, this may mean getting at an underlying emotional or stress-related behavior. But for most, time and a sensitive understanding of the way thumb and finger sucking serves to comfort and console are the most effective treatment.
Pacifiers
As a new parent, you may wonder whether to give a pacifier to your baby. Some people are strongly in favor of pacifiers. Others insist just as strongly that they are avoided.
How, then, do you decide?
The best way is to watch your baby’s behavior to see whether to try a pacifier or not. Babies are born with a strong sucking instinct.
That’s why they were able to nurse or take a bottle. Sucking that isn’t a part of feeding is known as non-eating sucking or non-nutritive sucking.
Non-eating sucking is completely normal behavior for a baby. It usually has the same calming effect on the baby as nursing or taking a bottle.
Some babies seem able to satisfy their sucking urge during feeding. Other babies seem to want to suck constantly and will suck on anything that they can get in or near their mouths. If your baby wants to continue to suck after feeding or sucks on his or her fingers or blanket, you may want to try a pacifier.
Tips for Buying a Pacifier
Pacifiers come in different sizes and shapes and must meet stringent safety standards set by the U.S. Product Safety Commission. They must be strong so they won’t come apart in small pieces and must have a mouth shield large and strong enough to prevent the pacifier from being drawn into the baby’s mouth.
Your newborn may reject a pacifier at first. This is primarily because the technique of sucking on the pacifier is slightly different than nursing or taking a bottle. So, the baby has to practice a little to get used to a pacifier. At first, it will get thrust out of the mouth as the baby tries to use a breastfeeding or bottle feeding kind of suck.
Don’t give up. Your baby might get used to the pacifier after a little more exposure. Don’t force it, though. Offer the pacifier, but accept your baby’s response if he/she rejects it.
You may want to try a different kind of pacifier if your baby doesn’t like the first one you try. Sometimes the type makes a difference. If your baby does become accustomed to a pacifier, you will want to keep several on hand in case one gets lost.
Limiting Pacifier Use with Age
As your child’s sucking reflex disappears, you may want to limit where and when the pacifier can be used.
Because pacifiers cause no medical or psychological problems, start by just reducing the number of times you offer the child the pacifier. Limit it to naptime and bedtime or when it is needed to calm down after an upset.
Limit pacifier use to a special place you select for quiet, calming moments. As toddlers learn other strategies to calm down and put themselves to sleep, the pacifier won’t be as important.
Best Parenting Practices for Safe Pacifier Use
Use only a commercial pacifier, never a homemade one.
Clean new pacifiers before use according to the manufacturer’s directions. Then clean the pacifier frequently and always after it is dropped on the floor or ground, particularly when your baby is very young.
Pacifiers wear out when they are used often. Test the pacifier to make sure the bulb is intact and free of holes or tears. Replace a pacifier as soon as it becomes sticky or shows other signs of wear.
As your baby grows older, the sucking reflex will disappear. But your toddler may still use the pacifier to calm down after losing control or to relax enough to fall asleep. Pacifiers can still serve a purpose for older infants and young toddlers.
Transitional or Security Items
Transitional or security objects can also cause concern as you venture into this parenting life. Babies often develop attachments to transitional objects like blankets, stuffed animals, soft, silky fabric, or favorite pieces of clothing like hats or burp cloths. For some, the item is transitory and changing as long as it is something from home. For others, the intensity of the attachment requires parents to make sure the security object is always nearby.
Like thumb or finger sucking, transitional items are a normal part of learning to separate and reunite with you or an excellent coping mechanism for self-quieting and soothing.
In fact, children who have security items often cope better with unfamiliar situations than children who don’t have transitional objects on which to rely.
Tips For Parents Regarding Child’s Security Items
You might also be concerned about when attachment to a security item might become a problem. Professor Mary Renck Jalongo recommends looking at three issues when deciding about transitional objects; the duration, the intensity of the attachment, and the distress caused by separation from the security item. For example, teenagers rarely carry around transitional objects from early childhood but may, quite normally, keep them in a safe place in their rooms.
Children who are traumatized if they misplace their transitional objects as they near the end of the early childhood period (which actually lasts until age 8) may be indicating the need for help to solve an underlying problem.
The best way to reduce a child’s dependence on a transitional object is to begin to limit the places it can go and the times it can be used. As with all changes we make with very young children, this process needs to be a gradual one. You may not experience any success with rapid removal or throwing away an important item.
Quick removal of one coping strategy often leads to an exaggeration of another, perhaps equally unappealing habit. Take your time, and work with your child to make sure he/she is ready for the next step with his/her special security object.
Take a look around KinderCare. Children of all ages and particularly very young children will be using a wide variety of coping mechanisms to manage separation from parents – the most important people in their lives. Your child’s teacher will view this as a natural part of growing up and offer the strategies your child has learned at home as a support for encouraging adjustment and maturation.
If you’re looking to become a preschool educator you may consider enrolling at Peake Academy. For parents who want more help with thumb sucking, pacifier use, and other security options their children refuse to give up, please connect with us in our Parent Advisor private Facebook group.