Is Your Child Ready for Potty Training
Most parents start to look forward to the end of the second year of their child’s life. This is the year when the anticipation of freedom from disposable diapers, finding diaper changing places, and washing clothes soiled by overfilled diapers starts to kick in. Unfortunately, not all children are independent with toileting by age two.
Your child may not be ready for potty training on the immediate day they turn two.
The entire process of potty training your child can take anywhere from six months to twelve months from the day they start exhibiting the signs that they’re ready.
Noted pediatrician T. Berry Brazelton tells parents that 90% of children are toileting independently by the end of the third year, right before they turn four. He encourages parents to follow their child’s lead as they begin the toilet training process rather than begin too early.
When parents fail to match their child’s skills and abilities with the developmental process of learning to go to the bathroom independently, battles and conflicts arise, particularly as your two-year-old is gaining independence skills.
Is My Child Ready for Potty Training?
Since controlling bodily functions is an internal process, your child may not be ready when you’re ready for this stage. Parents are often frustrated by their inability to help children learn to go to the bathroom independently. You cannot externally control a child’s bowel and bladder.
Until your child is ready to take control of these bodily functions, no amount of coaxing, rewards, or reminders will accomplish control. Most children begin to develop these skills between 24-30 months.
Children need a variety of skills to begin the potty training process. The first skills needed are body awareness and motor control skills. From the child’s perspective, these skills include:
Motor control skills: “I can sit still for a while, maybe 3 or 4 minutes.”
Skills to delay gratification: “I can wait for a while, maybe 3 or 4 minutes.”
Large muscle skills: “I can pull my pants down and up without assistance from an adult.”
Small muscle skills: “I can regulate the muscles that start and stop the elimination process.”
Motor control skills: “I can hold my urine or bowel movement while I get to the toilet, pull my pants down, and have a seat!” and “I can wipe my bottom without adult help.”
Bio-motor regularity skills: “I have prolonged periods of dryness, including waking up from sleep (nap or night time) dry.”
Body awareness skills: “I can tell when my bladder/bowel is filling up and I need to potty” and “I prefer to be clean rather than dirty.”
They also need some specific language skills to be ready for potty training. These skills include:
Shared words: “My parents and I have a set of shared words for elimination – I know what to call what is happening to me.”
Telling: “I can tell my parents what I need.”
Cognitive development also gives toddlers skills that benefit them during the potty training process. These developments include:
Prediction skills: “I may need to potty soon” or “I know what comes next when my body feels like this.”
Memory skills: “I won’t forget to go potty while I’m busy playing.”
Finally, social/emotional development skills need to be in place to make the timing of toilet training effective. Social/emotional skills include:
The self-confidence to say: “I can be in charge of my own body!”
The autonomy to know: “I can do it myself.”
The independence to feel: “I want to try to do it myself!”
The self-esteem to believe: “I don’t need to make taking care of my body a power struggle.”
We rarely stop to think about all of the complicated factors that must be firmly in place before potty training can be a successful process. It is no wonder that it may take 6 to 12 months from the time a child begins to show interest in potty training until he/she is ready to learn this specific task!
Thank you for reading! We hope that this content was interesting and helpful to your parenting journey. We have also prepared a FREE Guide to Toilet Training. Get yours when you sign up to our weekly Newsletter. Plus, you will be the first to know when we have new contents, freebies and resources
If you’re starting the process of potty training and want some parents who can relate, consider joining our Parent Advisor private Facebook group to connect with parents who can lend advice and help you through this challenging stage in parenthood.