The #1 Essential of a Happy, Healthy Child…Unconditional Love
Children won’t remember you for the things you give them, but rather for the feelings you leave with them of being cherished and loved. ~Darla Noble
According to the definitions put out there by those who are considered to be experts in the matter, ‘unconditional love is love without limits—a love that cannot cease to be. In the world of parenting, unconditional love is ‘just because’ love. Just because you live and breathe, just because you are mine.
The unconditional love of a parent isn’t something you prepare for or learn. It happens or is born when your child (or children) is born. It washes over you before you can count the baby’s fingers and toes. It is why those first few weeks of euphoria and sleep-deprived stupor somehow confirm your belief that your child is perfect and will someday provide the solution to world peace.
By the time they reach the toddler stage you realize they aren’t perfect, but you don’t budge when it comes to your certainty that they are perfectly wonderful. Then by the time they start school you are still overflowing with unconditional love for your little munchkins. But you’ve also come to the realization that they may very well be the reason we never achieve world peace.
Next, comes the pre-teen and teen years, yet through, because, and in spite of it all, you keep on loving them more than life itself. And that, my friends, is unconditional love.
Unconditional love is not basing your love on what they look like, how athletic they are, what kind of grades they make, how popular they are, or whether they are shy or outgoing. It’s loving them because they are yours. The end.
That being said, you shouldn’t turn a blind eye to their faults. You should still be fully aware of their imperfections and faults and work through them. Unconditional love is all-hands-on-deck when it comes to encouraging, training, discipline, and accountability.
Anything less than that is poor parenting.
Ouch! That’s a bit harsh, isn’t it? Or is it?
We’re doing a great disservice to our children if we fail to give them these things. If they grow up always trying to measure up, they will live their whole lives trying to be ‘enough’. With you, at school, in their extra-curricular activities, dating/marriage relationships, on the job…. No one is always the best but if our children aren’t raised to understand this basic truth, they will live in search of something they’ll never find…and be less than they could and should be, because of it.
Okay, so now that you know why unconditional love is the number-one essential, let’s spend a few minutes looking at: HOW TO LOVE YOUR CHILD UNCONDITIONALLY
Tell your child you love them each and every single day
Starting and/or ending the day with ‘I love you’ is one of the surest ways to convey unconditional love. If children don’t hear those three priceless words on a regular basis, they’ll a) wonder if you do b) wonder what they need to so that you will love them or c) what they did wrong.
Give hugs and kisses
No, your nine-year-old son will not want a kiss from either of you when he’s being dropped off for school, but a hug and a kiss on the top of the head or on the cheek at bedtime will be appreciated whether they show it or not
Remember that it’s not just about what you say, but how you say it.
There’s a right way and a wrong way to encourage, instruct, teach, correct, or discipline a child. Look at the following common statements made by parents and think about which ones you would rather hear….
You’ll never amount to anything if you keep acting like that. Vs. You may not realize it, but what you do now can and will affect your future.
It’s not rocket science. The dog could do this. Vs. Once you get the hang of it you’ll be fine. It just takes practice. Let’s see what you are having trouble with, and we’ll go from there.
Don’t put conditions on unconditional love
I know that’s an oxymoron, but it happens. For example, a father and son have a great relationship…until the son doesn’t make the football team, or later on in life when he doesn’t want anything to do with the family business.
I realize that a lot of parents come into the role of parenting without knowing for themselves what it means or feels like to be loved in this manner. But I also know that a) where there’s a will, there’s a way, and b) that no one has to be a victim of their circumstances. The only choice we don’t get to make for ourselves in life is to be born. Aside from that, everyone (sooner or later) has the freedom to choose who and what they want to be. EVERYONE. So when it comes to being a parent, remember this: You chose to give your children life, so they deserve nothing less than YOUR best. And your best is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
At Peake Academy Digital Preschool, we know what it takes to support your child in their individual learning goals.
Whether you are a busy Stay-at-home mother or dad, going back to work full time, or starting to homeschool. Maybe, a family member is helping watch the kids a couple of days a week. Perhaps, you intuitively feel your child needs a little extra help with letter sounds. We understand what it takes to foster your child’s early childhood education. We know the amount of energy that goes into supporting your child in navigating the stresses, and the victories. Wearing the teacher hat can feel at times exhausting, defeating, and even lonely.
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Thank you for reading this content. We hope this blog will help you find the best way for you and your family to celebrate the new year’s eve.
Here’s a free My Emotions Chart to help your child express how they feel. These charts provide a range of approaches for building emotional awareness and intelligence.
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